Have you ever been so immensely inspired by an event in your life that lit a deep and long suppressed fire within the core of your soul. It sparks so much power that you know the difference the world needs. You know what the future needs for there to be a stronger “good” around the globe. I’ve personally had revelations like these a few times in my life. I can’t quite decide if these are things I should feel lucky to experience or should they maybe be a sign that I am too open to possibilities and my childhood wishes to live in an Alice in Wonderland movie should probably be retired. But even in the shadows of doubt, I will always remain hopeful to fall down that rabbit hole and discover a world of making the impossible possible.
We’re lead to believe at a very young age what popularity can win you. You can be voted class president, or best hair, or most likely to succeed. You can be in the yearbook crew, you can have all the coolest new trends. You can be the “party house”. You can host the best sleepovers. The people who acquire these titles young are part of the category we have grown familiar with in adolescent society as the “popular crowd”. I was not part of the popular crowd. But i also was not the timid nerd in the corner who never spoke to anyone. Can you be well-liked by most AND have the cool sneakers AND have charm AND not be part of the popular crew? Depends who you ask…
Over the last 5 years or so, as I meet new people and make new friends, it’s interesting the impression people have of who I was as a child and back in high school. Some think I was a wild child daredevil, some believe I was timid and shy and a homebody, others think I was valedictorian and the only thing I ever did was study and go to the library. To be honest, I am and was all of those things. Except valedictorian. I was not valedictorian.
I am a wild child daredevil. I’m not afraid to say something that everyone is thinking but too afraid to speak into the universe. I’m not afraid to jump into something new and be scared as all heck but know in my core that whatever the outcome, i am ready for it.
I am timid and shy and enjoy being home. I like wearing my favorite sweats, sitting on my favorite part of the couch, snuggled under my blanket juusst right, and watch a romcom that i’ve probably watched 1000 times but still am just as entertained as when I watched it the first time. And I am truly happy and content in these moments.
I enjoy going to the library. Often times when I have an hour to kill (this only happens when I finish an errand too early and have to wait until a certain time to go home otherwise my kids’ bedtime routine is completely disrupted and the night and next morning is ruined for all), I will go to my favorite library, sit by my favorite window, read my book and enjoy the peace of being surrounded by people who want to enhance their knowledge in all kinds of subject matters. It’s truly beautiful and just feels good.
What I hope you get from this entry, is you have the power within you to be and do whatever you want. However, it is imperative to embrace the moments of who you are at that time.
5 year old christina had the time of her life doing a paint-by-numbers, and doing homework.
12 year old christina enjoyed her friends of all different backgrounds and asked questions about the different countries their families were from.
17 year old Christina enjoyed being invited to all the big house parties but was okay with not being invited to movie night at the “cool kids’” house because she enjoyed her more intimate gatherings with her central group. As well as being home alone on a Saturday doing a 1000+ jigsaw puzzle.
19 year old christina loved going out where ever the wind took her, meeting all kinds of people, exploring all aspects of the world around us, and still being a kick ass PA student.
25 year old christina was proud and confident to be able to stick up for herself around people who did not serve her positivity in her life. She was motivated to only be around those who enhanced her time on this earth
32 year old christina made the tough decision to realign her priorities to match the new life she started to fall into 35 year old christina thrived in her own solo hobbies which in turn built confidence in social situations. Having confidence in yourself exudes strength to others. Not an intimidating strength but an approachable one. I believe I am someone whom people can depend on, but the big success here is I also developed friendships with people who I can in turn depend on without a shadow of a doubt.
At the end of the day, popularity is your own personal perception of where you as a person, fit in with those around you. If you are filled with jealousy, you will feel like you’re not one of the cool kids. If you’re arrogant, you’ll think you’re the most popular person where ever you go. Neither is a flattering quality nor does either have any high quality of life in the long run.
Yes the impossible is possible! Yes you can be in the mix with all kinds of people, and all kinds of groups. The key is to be the same person around all who you meet with certain tweaks along the way depending on the setting. As a child I enjoyed being home and doing my little crafts and hanging out with my neighbors. As a college student I loved being out, and around as many people as possible, doing as much as possible to just enjoy every minute life was giving me. I embraced all of these days and everything that came with it.
And I embrace being a special needs mother. Yes, my friendships I built in the last few years have changed drastically. No, I am not invited to my friend’s kid’s random bowling gathering on a Thursday night. But, I cherish every moment I have. Even in moments of my most extreme emotions both positive and .. not so positive, from the bottom of my soul I am happy to be able to experience these emotions and continue to navigate my way through life. I like to think that I am good company, I enjoy making people smile, I am happy to have small talk with the cashier at my Stop & Shop because we genuinely wish each other a good day. Every moment I love is full of intention. Embrace the good, but really make sure you feel the bad. The sunny days wouldn’t be so sunny without the rain.
The popular crowd or the cool kids, are all a perception. If you’re content with yourself and if you genuinely love those who you allow into your life, you won. You won the title of most likely to succeed. It is in that moment, that you did it. You made it.
